i love you michael.
hope all your birthday wishes come true [within reason].
may the heinz ketchup be with you wherever you go.



it's snowing, and my power is out! i am in idiotic-vancouverite heaven. yes, we vancouverites are sometimes idiotic when it comes to snow.

well, today was an adventure. driving conditions with other clueless drivers are bad, and to top it off, there's snow on the roads!

so i was just thinking; as we were driving home from an all around crazy visit with friends [that's a generalization, just to let you know joel], i see the coolest thing ever. the odd street light is a spotlight for the snow. and i'm thinking: wow! how cool is that. one of the funnest, prettiest, craziest substances in the whole world, and this little lamp post is shining on it to show everyone [ haha not like we need a street light to see this SNOW]. i thought it looked really pretty. and then i was thinking again; if a lamp post can highlight GOD's glory like that, why shouldn't we? i was thinking about how big my lack of zeal for GOD is. i should be the one putting a spot light on GOD and his creation, not a wimpy little street lamp [no offense to you sir].

anyways, just my random thoughts that i decided to post. thanks for putting up with my ramblings that are like a redheaded dutch woman trying to speak japanese to a dog.

and just to unlameishize my blog; plus this is a good song yet overplayed this evening by miss lysh.

Casimir Pulaski Day -- Sufjan Stevens

Golden rod and the 4-H stone
The things I brought you
When I found out you had cancer of the bone

Your father cried on the telephone
And he drove his car to the Navy yard
Just to prove that he was sorry

In the morning through the window shade
When the light pressed up against your shoulder blade
I could see what you were reading

Oh the glory that the lord has made
And the complications you could do without
When I kissed you on the mouth

Tuesday night at the bible study
We lift our hands and pray over your body
But nothing ever happens

I remember at Michael's house
In the living room when you kissed my neck
And I almost touched your blouse

In the morning at the top of the stairs
When your father found out what we did that night
And you told me you were scared

Oh the glory when you ran outside
With your shirt tucked in and your shoes untied
And you told me not to follow you

Sunday night when I cleaned the house
I find the card where you wrote it out
With the pictures of your mother

On the floor at the great divide
With my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied
I am crying in the bathroom

In the morning when you finally go
And the nurse runs in with her head hung low
And the cardinal hits the window

In the morning in the winter shade
On the first of March on the holiday
I thought I saw you breathing

Oh the glory that the lord has made
And the complications when I see his face
In the morning in the window

Oh the glory when he took our place
But he took my shoulders and he shook my face
And he takes and he takes and he takes


snow: iLOVEit.

i wrote this last april, up in manning park. and today being the first snowfall of the season, i believe it is appropriate.

"manning park: day one
april 24/06
...the snow here is awesome. to think of how GOD came up with such a beautiful substance is unimagincable. the way it glistens in the sun and turns pink at sunset makes me want to stay here forever. well, maybe not forever..."

"manning park: day four
april 27/06
solo time
...the clouds this morning are gloomy. they hide the light. it's almost as if they were trying to make things miserable. but, they give us a present. it is white, fluffy, and sticky. it sends shivers down my spine when i touch it. their greyness brings sadness, but the gift it drops down blocks out that sadness and makes it a prettier place..."

the snow isn't nearly as beautiful today, and not much of it is left now. but i still love snow. as cold and muddy and ugly as it can be, i LOVE it.



i have decided that if i were ever to fall, get lost, or get stuck at the bottom of the grand canyon, i would sing this song. it's quite a good song. and no one would hear me. be glad at that.

IN CHRIST ALONE -- by stuart townend

in CHRIST alone, my hope is found
HE is my light, my strength, my song
this cornerstone, this solid ground
firm through the fiercest drought and storm
what heights of love, what depths of peace
when fears are stilled, when strivings cease
here in the love of CHRIST i stand

in CHRIST alone, who took on flesh
fullness of GOD in helpless babe
this gift of love and righteousness
scorned by the ones HE came to save
'till on that cross as JESUS died
the wrath of GOD was satisfied
for every sin on HIM was laid
here in the death of CHRIST i live

there in the ground HIS body lay
light of the world by darkness slain
then bursting forth in glorious day
up from the grave HE rose again
and as HE stands in victory
sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
for i am HIS and HE is mine
bought with the precious blood of CHRIST

no guilt in life, no fear in death
this is the power of CHRIST in me
from life's first cry to final breath
JESUS commands my destiny
no power of hell, no scheme of man
can ever pluck me from HIS hand
'till HE returns or calls me home
here in the power of CHRIST i'll stand



>>^^ going OUT of IN-N-OUT

>>^^ going IN to IN-N-OUT

^^matthew got arrested...for card cheatin'



already, the posts about ladies conference are coming in. i'm sorry, but i'm running out of time on my computer and i must get back to the sun and pool to work on my tan, so if you wish to know more about this amazing opportunity i had at the conference, you'll have to wait. ask me later.

i just want to share my favorite quote by miss carolyn mcculley, not only a woman of GOD, but an excellent speaker, storyteller, and comedian.

"do we want thing thighs? yes, we do! but we only want them if it meant we got them walking besides our brothers and sisters, carrying their burdens."

hahaa such a great weekend. full of fun, laughter, and great messages and teaching. it was like a giant slumber party.

so much fun down here in sunny phoenix. yet i miss the movie rain.


avian beauty.

so here's my REAL post on beauty. my other one was just a quote. i know it will sound really lame to everyone, mostly the guys, but i don't care. i want to say this. so listen or not. but i think you should read it. after reading aly's post, i remembered once again what real beauty can be. avian beauty.

i met a little girl named ava. she is the most adorable three year old [well they're all to die for] i know. ava has big blue eyes, she is content and happy, and she has crazy curly hair that goes whichever way it wants. cute as a button; well cuter actually. and she is beautiful. i think that her most beautiful trait by far though, is her innocent mind.

you realize that beauty is distorted and photoshopped, but then you have no answer for what real beauty is. well, i think that one definition is beauty from the mind. not in the hands of magazine editors, not in the eyes of tyra banks, and not in the images we see pasted across the media. real beauty is inside a child's mind. kids have the most unique way of thinking. ways that adults can just not comprehend. to a child, colour is unimportant amongst playmates. to a child, glory, fame, and wealth are just words. and to a child, GOD is so big, so strong and so mighty there's nothing our GOD can't do!
why can't adults be that way? why does colour of skin cause separation among GOD's children? why have we become so greedy and self-centered that we are fighting with our neighbors? why is it that we have lost our fear and love for our MAKER? why can't we just be a child again? content, happy, and unaware of the greed, war, and hate? why must we care so much about what the other is doing, causing rivalries and what not? why can't we just look out for one another with compassion? is this not what the word of GOD speaks to us about?
remember beauty is what is inside of you, beauty is an innocent heart.

[matthew 5:44] But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;"

ava sees nothing wrong with the world. it's just her, mommy, daddy, als, photosynthesis the cat, and her FATHER in heaven. the real things, the things that matter most. where's our avian beauty?



[faith] : confidence or trust in a person or thing; belief that is not based on proof.

confidence or trust in a person or thing; yes. we trust in GOD, that is our faith with GOD.

belief that is not based on proof; no. we believe in GOD because we have proof; proof in HIS word, proof in our lives, proof of HIS grace.

i heard an excellent message on faith. it wasn't complicated or deep really though, it was simple. and so good to hear. it was a reminder again of how great our GOD's love for us is.

[some of my notes from the message last night]
the human race greeted CHRIST with sneers and spit, hardened hearts, and we ignored HIS calls; yet HE still loves us so much. JESUS' love was not just a pretty thought or empty words, it was dropping blood, enduring pain, and bearing the weight of our sin. JESUS' love is not human love - it is GOD's love. a love that we can not understand. we love ourselves more than we love the ONE who gave HIS life for us, undeserving sinners.

wow. i don't know about you but if someone can love me that much, i want to know HIM more.

"Faith is not a leap in the dark, it is a step in the light."


philippians 4:6

[philippians 4:6] Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to GOD. (ESV)

something i need to work on.